PARODY. No real survey exists. This is satire.
A Recent Survey Says*
Vol. 1 The journal of made-up findings

A recent survey says whatever you want it to.

The internet runs on statistics nobody can source. We just cut out the middleman. State a finding, and we will build the study around it: the experts, the methodology, the chart, the confidence.

Tab. 1

Most cited this era

Editorial

A note from the management

For most of history, making science say what you wanted took years of funding, a lab, and at least one person willing to lie under oath. What a waste.

Today, thanks to this website, anyone can produce a peer-unreviewed finding in under a minute. No data. No ethics board. No shame. We have finally democratized the most powerful phrase in the English language: a recent survey says.

Some people will tell you this is bad for knowledge. To them I say: knowledge was always going to let you down eventually. At least this way it is funny. Now go invent something. The truth will never know.

The Management

Tab. 2

Hot off the press

Knowledge is overrated. Findings are forever.